1. Jesus had a low Body Fat Percentage (BF%).
2. Jesus put the “Cross” in “Cyclocross.”
3. Jesus shaved his legs. Most historians agree that lack of hair on legs prevented road rash in case of a crash (see # 4), and it improved aerodynamics.
4. His wounds were likely from a bicycle race crash. Typical crash injuries include broken scapula/ collar bone, road rash, punctures from bicycle parts.
5. He wore a helmet.
6. He popularized the “victory salute”
7. He is shown cycling here in an early, undated photo.
8. He loved climbing and hills, like any elite cyclist. See “Sermon on the Mount” and “Mount of Transfiguration” for details.
9. He used energy bars and gels. Nutritionists and sports historians widely agree that frankincense and myrrh were both early forms of performance enhancements.
10. We are pretty sure he wasn’t into running.
Please note that no Christians, Jews for Jesus, or biblical figures alive or dead were harmed in the writing of this essay.